CoroCoro Mag recently revealed that the latest Poké-craze, Pokémon Platinum, would be released in the near future–a story that Nintendo Japan jumped on to confirm. But what will this mean for the Poké-fanatics? Apparently Pokémon Platinum will “serve as a companion to the two current-generation titles, Diamond and Pearl — much like Yellow, Crystal, and Emerald did for their respective generations.”

Kotaku quips that “we’ll likely be treated to new sprites for many the monsters, and a few tweaks to the story, but not many new entries into the ol’ Pokédex. Perhaps that expansion will come in the franchise’s next generation, Pokémon Ununbium and Cadmium.”

This is the truth behind Pokemon’s popularity. Pokemon “trainers” are really just pimps:

“I had a mother fucker ask me the other day, ‘Do you beat your Pokemon when they lose?’
I said, ‘Mother fucker, do I beat them when they lose? I beat them when they win.’
The logic here being that if they know Im gonna whoop their ass when they win, just think of how bad that ass-whooping is going to be if they lose.”

How terrible is that? Life would be so much more intesting if Pokemon Pimps existed!